


Protect and Serve

by neversaydie



Series: cock it and pull it [25]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Animal Death, F/M, Guilt, M/M, Non-Explicit, Protectiveness, burying a pet, episode 73 spoilers, losing a pet, non-explicit gore, post episode 73, sammy dadfriends hard, sammy's sadness errands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 07:50:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversaydie/pseuds/neversaydie
Summary: Sammy is somewhat prepared for what he's going to find as they climb the stairs to Ben's apartment… and by prepared, he means he's already numbed himself to the potential trauma as much as possible. He stops Emily at the door, spare keys jingling slightly where his hands aren't so steady."You don't have to be here for this," he knows she'll refuse to leave, but both she and Ben are so fucking young, and they've already been through so much… it goes against all Sammy's instincts to expose them to more. "It's not-""You're not doing this alone," Emily takes the keys from him, markedly more steady despite the fact she's been physically bracing herself in the car on the way over, and lets them in.[post episode 73, Sammy and Emily take care of Ben the best they can.]





	Protect and Serve

**Author's Note:**

> takes place directly after episode 73, TW non-explicit references to the aftermath of animal death and non-explicit gore

Sammy is somewhat prepared for what he's going to find as they climb the stairs to Ben's apartment… and by prepared, he means he's already numbed himself to the potential trauma as much as possible. He stops Emily at the door, spare keys jingling slightly where his hands aren't so steady.

"You don't have to be here for this," he knows she'll refuse to leave, but both she and Ben are so fucking young, and they've already been through so much… it goes against all Sammy's instincts to expose them to more. "It's not-"

"You're not doing this alone," Emily takes the keys from him, markedly more steady despite the fact she's been physically bracing herself in the car on the way over, and lets them in.

It's been a terrible fucking night, and more than ever Sammy _needs_ Jack with a ferocity he can't put words to, as though it's logically impossible within the laws of the universe that he isn't here. Jack was always the steady one, the one who kept a cool head in a crisis and would know what the hell Sammy was supposed to _do_ when his partner was entrapped and arrested live on the air.

Seeing Ben dragged kicking and screaming from the studio in cuffs might be the most frightened Sammy's been since he came to King Falls, and his heart rate only marginally slowed down when he arrived at the Sheriff's Department to find Emily there - already chewing out the desk sergeant and making it clear they weren't going to let anything happen to Ben while he was in custody. Sammy doesn't have to draw on personal experience to know not to trust small town cops (who aren't Troy), but after the way Gunderson spoke to him in the studio… he's worried.

Sammy gets Ben a lawyer, tells the department he'll pay bail as soon as it's set, and that's all he can do. Nothing will be processed until tomorrow, so he and Emily go to Rose's and have the numbest, strangest breakfast of their lives… which neither of them actually eat.

Sammy had been going through the motions of his third cup of coffee when he'd suddenly sat up, sleep deprived eyes wide, and remembered the crime scene pictures Gunderson had slapped triumphantly onto the desk.

He can't protect Ben from much… but he can shield him from this.

The apartment has already started to smell, the raw, metallic stink of blood crawling out of the corner of the living room where the large tank is set up. Ben worked so hard on that thing - building tubes and tunnels for Peas to scamper through, dragging Sammy on a roadtrip to an exotic pet store in another state to make sure he was doing right by his little buddy, acquiring all kinds of weird odds and ends for the sugar glider to explore. The cheery, brightly coloured fake flowers dotted around the cage ("I want him to feel at home, man!") make Sammy's chest ache, and he swallows hard around the sudden lump in his throat before he can make himself move any closer.

"Oh… God…" Emily puts a hand to her mouth at the scene, and Sammy touches her elbow but doesn't try to pull her away. "That… did Gunderson _shoot him_? He was just a little…"

"C'mon, let's find some cleaning supplies," Sammy does shepherd her back towards the kitchen then, when she sounds nauseated and stunned all at once. As long as he's taking care of someone else, he knows he can keep it together.

Much as he didn't want Emily to have to see this, she's probably the only reason he's able to handle it himself.

They scrounge up trash bags and rubber gloves, and Sammy tasks Emily with finding a cardboard box (on the excuse that it's probably less intrusive for her to poke around Ben's things than for him to do it… which isn't strictly true, but if he can spare either of them any measure of this experience then he will) while he deals with what's left of Peas.

He tries to be respectful of the poor little guy, taking a second to stroke a fingertip down his furry snout the way Ben always did to make him chitter. The apartment is strangely, deathly quiet without the sugar glider's distinctive chatter, and Sammy can't find any ambient sound to block out the visceral, wet sounds of the grisly cleanup. For such a small animal… he's surprised by how _much_ of Peas there is.

Yeah, he's gonna need to throw up after they're done. He concentrates on the fact it would be a million times worse for Ben to have to see this and gets it done as quickly and thoroughly as he can… while breathing through his mouth.

Emily turns up a shoebox, and Sammy carefully places the garbage bag with Peas' remains inside it, slightly lightheaded by the time the lid shuts. He strips off his bloodstained gloves and excuses himself to the bathroom, gagging up coffee and bile until there's nothing left.

It's horrible, but he's still relieved that Ben won't have to handle this scene. The guy's been through more than enough.

Emily has opened the windows and sprayed bleach around the remaining stains by the time Sammy emerges from the bathroom, and points out a spot just beyond the building's backyard, near the trees at the edge of the lot. The apartment feels cold and empty, the late morning sky outside cloudy and appropriately overcast, and Sammy's almost relieved to leave it… even if he's carrying a box containing part of his best friend's heart when he does.

The old couple downstairs lend him a shovel (with a few choice words about Sheriff Gunderson and his extremely loose definition of 'protect and serve', because of course Ben's neighbours like him - he carries in their groceries and checks on them when the weather is bad, and he's a good man who doesn't fucking _deserve_ any of this, god dammit), and he trudges out to the spot Emily pointed out with heavy legs and a heavier heart.

The ground is hard after a recent cold snap, difficult to break, but Sammy appreciates having to put the effort in. His arms burning and his back aching gives him something to think about that isn't Peas splattered across Ben's apartment, isn't his friend's distraught reaction to finding out what Gunderson did, isn't the idea of Ben locked up and alone experiencing god knows what at the cops' hands while Sammy can't get to him, isn't Jack howling for help in the fucking void…

Sammy is just so tired… of everything. He's tired of being helpless, he's tired of seeing the people he loves suffer, he's tired of hurting.

He's so fucking tired.

He places Peas gently into the hole once it's deep enough, resting his hand on the box and muttering a quiet apology before he lets go. Ben is going to be absolutely devastated, is going to worry about Peas being cold and alone in the ground in that irrational way losing something you love can make you fear, and Sammy figures the least he can do is be able to tell the guy honestly that they made things as nice as they could.

Emily joins him outside when he's almost finished filling in the tiny grave, looking pale and upset but admirably composed. Sammy leans on the shovel when the job is done, catching his breath, and they stand there in silence for a long time as the wind swirls mournfully through the trees. At least Ben will know where Peas is, that's some small comfort amidst the horror.

"I'm not losing anyone else over this," Sammy shakes his head slowly, staring at the lonely little mound of earth. If Ben hadn't got it into his head to find Jack, this would never have happened. Sammy's the one who caused this, it's all his fault, and he's not going to break Ben Arnold's big fucking heart any more. "He's not losing anyone else."

"Sammy…" Emily starts, but he's already walking back inside. He needs to clean up the rest of his mess.


End file.
